Reconciling My Faith

Adoption of older children, and fostering of these children as well, while being of a minority religion (really, we’re the only Kemetics in the area that I know of) has presented us with a rather interesting situation.

First, we don’t know anything about the boy or his foster family.  We know where they are, as in what city, but past that: nothing.  I know about his background before he went into foster care, but nothing else.

The girl, on the other hand, we know a little bit more about because she goes to the same place of worship that we do.  Her foster mother has been teaching her Christian stories and she comes from a “Christian” household, even though she wasn’t taught much when she was with her birth mother.

Since Erin and I aren’t Christian, we don’t celebrate Christmas or Easter in our home.  We do, however, celebrate The Days Upon the Year and Wep Ronpet, The Ascension of the Celestial Cow (aka, Moomas), and the Solstices and Equinoxes, which aren’t of importance in Orthodox Kemetic Practice, but we’re reformed, so there.

We celebrate Christmas and Easter with our families because our families are Christian, and we celebrate the holidays as our place of worship celebrates them (which, at least for the youth, is up to me since I’m the DYRE (Director of Youth Religious Education)).

We’re going to be moving into a very religiously blended family, since we’re going to have two distinct religious groups in our home.  We will not not share our religion and faith with our children, and I hope that they’ll want to share in our traditions, but we can’t force them.

I stressed in an earlier post the importance of Pagan children to the pagan community, but this is a little different because they aren’t being raised since infancy with us.  We absolutely will not force our beliefs on them, but they will be exposed to them regularly.  We plan to share the myths and the celebrations and the history, but we can’t force them to participate because that’s not their faith and that’s not their way.

If this had been me three years ago, I would have had a very, very big problem with this situation because I didn’t not, on any level, like or agree with Christian principles, ideals, and beliefs.  I was actively opposed to Christianity, a religion I saw as hateful and mean and oppressive.

I spoke out against it actively and adamantly and wanted nothing to do with it at all.  I actively avoided going to churches or groups that were Christian in nature, in any way.

But that changed after going to a church that Erin wanted to go to.  She swore they were “open” to other faiths, but I was still really skeptical.  Even after the first time we went, they were so Christian-y, that I was unsure of going back.  They read from the Bible.  Their message was Bible-centered.  And all of it rubbed me the wrong way.

When Erin asked me what I thought, I shrugged and told her I would try it again because I never judge a place after my first experience.  I always try something twice, in case the first time was just a bad experience.

And the second time was the time that changed everything for me because the minister justified other religions as being good and okay through a story about Joshua and a story about Jesus, and it completely opened my eyes that maybe the Bible and Christianity wasn’t this demonic religion of hate and oppression like I thought…That maybe I could be okay with Christianity and still maintain my current faith.

I did a lot of research, listened to a lot of lectures/sermons/messages by people I trusted and people I didn’t, and the more and more I listened and learned, the more and more I was able to reconcile my current faith with my past faith as a Christian and come to peace with the stuff that had happened to me when I was a Christian.

Now, even though our future daughter and son will not be Kemetic when the come to us and may never be Kemetic in their life, I feel secure enough in my own faith and in my understanding of Christianity to the point where I can effectively guide them on their own spiritual and faith journeys, and I think that’s the most important thing.

Super Excited! Is it Saturday Yet???

Okay, this is going to be a quick blog about something that happened to me today….

It starts about two weeks ago.  Erin and I were at church when another church member comes up to us and says, “Hey, are you the one who taught that class on paganism a couple months ago?”

I said yes.  She told me about this retreat happening in western North Carolina that Normandi Ellis, author of Awakening Osiris, one of my all time favorite books, was putting on.  I got so excited about it and told her I was in.

She said, “Great!  It’s $150.”

Damn.  That’s a lot of money.  I told her I’d make it work and figure it out.  If anything, I’d just take the money out of savings or work up a payment plan or something to make it work.  I contacted Normandi Ellis to see about payment, and she said I could pay in installments.  Then, my friend Amy offered to give me $50 to help me get there as a repayment/gift for everything I’ve helped her with over the last year or two.

That exact day, Yukon got sick.  Then Bentley, Tori and Eli.  And $2,000 later, I’m using the money I was given by Amy to help cover the costs of Eli’s now monthly or so medications that are going to run us $90 a month…  I ended up telling our friend at church that I wasn’t going to be able to go.

And I felt completely crushed by that.  I kept thinking, “I can make this work.  I can find the money to make this work.”  But with vet bills mounting, it wasn’t going to happen.  And we’re saving up for our honeymoon… so it’s just… a lot right now.  And I could use the $150 somewhere else.

I literally cried about it.

Today, Sally, the woman from church, messages me and says, “Would you still be interested in going if someone offered you a scholarship?”

Uhm… DUH? YES!

“Well, I’ve worked it out to give you a scholarship to go to the workshop.”

But I can’t ask you to do that… I didn’t ask you to do that…

“I understand, but this is something I’m feeling led to do.  I feel like you need to be there.  Your energy is going to really help enlighten all of us and the event.”

Oh my gosh… OH MY GOSH… I can’t believe this… Thank you, thank you, thank you!!

I’m going to Normandi Ellis’ workshop on Saturday…. I.  Am.  So.  Freaking. STOKED!!!  I can’t wait!!!!