There’s been a lot of ups and downs in my life the last couple of months. My summer graduate classes are a little overwhelming, and one of the professors is a down right jerk sometimes. There’s been some issues with my financial aid, which we thankfully got worked out so I’ll graduate. Erin’s been stressed with her graduate school stuff coming to an end in the next short amount of time.
And then this adoption. Oh, this adoption.
We’ve been fighting back and forth with people about placement before the start of the school year, and they kept pushing back. It has literally been a “Yes, placing them before the school year starts is ideal, but you haven’t done steps two through four yet.”
But we’re foster parents, legally…
“Yes, but that’s not how we do things.”
But if they lived with us as foster parents and then we tried for adoption, this wouldn’t have been a problem.
“Yes, that is correct, but that’s not what you’ve done.”
Well, we couldn’t have… can’t they just be placed with us? You place children in adoptive families as foster children all the time.
“Yes, I know, but you aren’t approved by our office yet.”
BUT WE ARE APPROVED BY DSS!
This has been the cycle. Over and over again. We had this amazing plan, and up until this point, we’d felt that this was the path the Gods had wanted us on. We made this call back in January and ever since then, the doors to foster care and adoption just kept opening and we kept sweeping through them. We got through the process so quickly that our foster care licensing specialist told us that she’d never seen a couple go through the process so quickly.
Well, that’s what happens when you’re on the path the divine want you to be on. Things just keep happening your way.
Until they didn’t anymore. Until my faith was tested so much so that I started wondering if these Gods even really existed. Y’all, it was bad. I have never in my entire life felt like the Gods weren’t there looking after things. I’ve never felt so alone in this Universe, divinely speaking.
I spoke with the foster mother about my frustrations and how things just… didn’t seem to be working out. I was so disappointed that we weren’t going to get them placed with us before the school year started, and so upset about how stupid these regulations seemed to be (even though I know they’re in place for a reason), and so worried about what it was going to b like to not have some time to get into a routine without school going on.
“Look,” She told me, “Spirit has gotten you two this far so fast. This is obviously the path you are supposed to be on. I know that Spirit’s worked it out this far, and it’s going to work it out in the future. I know it’s hard to be patient, but things will work out. I know they will.”
And then things didn’t change. I tried really hard to hold on to that, but it didn’t seem to help. Things weren’t changing. And they just kept getting more stressful.
I was starting to feel like everything around me was falling apart, and it is times like those where I’m so thankful that I married a strong woman of faith.
She helped keep me together, and prayed when I didn’t feel like I could.
She prayed last night. I’m not sure for what… peace, clarity, shit to come together, whatever.
Today, our phone rang.
Today, we got the call that they want to read our future daughter and future son’s histories to us so we can formally accept them.
Today, we found out that in nine days… NINE DAYS… our family will be a family of four.
Before school starts.
As foster children while the adoption goes through.
After my summer school classes are complete.
After Erin’s major final test is done and over with.
Before our daughter’s foster mother has to move, but not so much before that our daughter’s things will create added stress.
After our son’s birthday, so he celebrates with friends and not complete strangers.
At the absolute most perfect time for all parties involved.
When I called my bestfriend Amy and told her the news, she started crying on the phone because of how happy she was for us. We’ve been waiting for so long… and things were so no going the way we wanted them to.
She said, “Kel, you and Erin always say that things will work out for you. And you always believe it. Your faith is so strong in the Gods you worship, and it always pans out for you. It doesn’t matter how bad things seem to be, you two always find a way and you always come out on top. The Gods you worship are real, and they work amazing things in your life. They are always, always looking out for you. It is so awesome!”
I’m pretty sure that was exactly what I needed to hear.
Now, with the countdown beginning in earnest, it’s time to get the small things left around the house done… Because our family is DOUBLING in less than two weeks!!