Funk

The camping trip this weekend was fantastic.Photo May 28, 1 31 05 PM (1)

We left after work and got there around seven, so we had plenty of light still to set up our campsite.  I got the fire going while Erin set up our tent and then we switched because I
apparently cannot make a fire very well.  I got the inside of our tent set up and then made dinner.

We sat and listened to the sounds of nature while the dogs loafed around and marked everything.

No one, including the dogs, slept well that first night.  The next night we rearranged our sleeping situation after a run to Walmart.  We went swimming, read for pleasure (or for school, as was the case for Erin), played fetch with the dogs in the water, went for a walk, and enjoyed our time talking about all kinds of random things.

IMG_8730.jpegThe dogs were so exhausted that they went up to the tent for bed really early and slept hard all night long.  We slept better that night too.

On Sunday, it rained the first part of the day, so we read in the tent and napped.  Our neighbors packed up and left, but they gave us all their left over wood before leaving, which was super nice of them.  The rain cleared up, we went swimming again, and played with the dogs.  I got a little burned the first day, so the icy post-rain lake water felt fantastic on my shoulders.

I floated in the water with my eyes closed for awhile just enjoying the quiet and the feelingPhoto May 28, 6 49 57 PM of the water on my skin.  It was such a rejuvenating experience.

We walked around the campsite at one point to look at all the other sites, and we talked
about what we would get in a camper if we ever decided to get one.  We would want something not super big, but nice enough for a family of four or more… but in the end, I really don’t think I’d want one, if for no other reason than the camper sites were all packed together and the felt more like a trailer park set up than camping.  At least our short hike-in site was moderately separated.

Sunday evening, we stayed up later than usual and listened to the campfire and the silence and soaked in the surroundings before heading to bed.  The next morning, we packed up and came home.  I felt so refreshed.  I felt so at peace.  I felt so unconnected, and it was a Photo May 29, 9 39 26 PMwonderful feeling.

That is, until I made the mistake of checking Facebook.

Last Sunday, a man at church had a heart attack.  He died later that evening or early the next morning, and his family has been super secretive about everything.  I understand they are grieving, but they’ve asked that no one post anything on social media.  The church sent out a news letter on Thursday or Friday saying that a Celebration of Life service was still pending, per the request of the family.

They posted the news letter to their Facebook page and now it’s gone.  His daughters posted some pretty nasty comments on their father’s Facebook page about how insensitive everyone was being and how they weren’t following the wishes of the family.

And I get it… Their dad died, and I can’t imagine how horrible they must feel and how grieved they must be… and how difficult this time is… but they don’t want anyone posting anything about him on Facebook at all, and I’m sorry, but they aren’t the only ones who loved him.

And it has been a week.

And they’re taking away the only outlet a lot of people have to express their grief, so now myself, and many others, are feeling like we aren’t allowed to grieve his passing or celebrate his transition because they don’t want us posting anything having to do with him at all.

It’s frustrating, and it’s upsetting, and I checked his Facebook page, and like… the only thing on that page is his daughter’s angry rant about people not doing what the family asked them to do and that it’s super insensitive, and it made me mad.  It’s been a week.

And I’m feeling like the family had a private ceremony and didn’t tell anyone, and it’s frustrating as all get out…

And then I saw all this stuff about the gorilla and the child and it ticks me off that people are calling for this woman’s arrest when we really should be asking why the zoo didn’t have a better barrier on the visitor’s side to protect from stuff like this happening.  I mean really, how hard would three to five feet of glass be?

And the more and more I saw on Facebook, the more and more I felt that negativity creep back into my life, and my mood started to crash.

So I made the choice to not actively check Facebook anymore.  Day one (today) was a success.  I’m still posting on there, but as far as reading things and liking things and commenting, I’m not doing that anymore unless it’s personal stuff (like all the pictures of my students graduating today).

And while I felt like I was in a funk for most of the day, once I cut that out, it started to fade away.

Photo May 31, 2 57 10 PM

Today was graduation, and it was probably one of my more emotional graduations.  One of my home bound girls whom I have work with for three years walked across the stage today.  She’s nearly died twice in the time I’ve known her, so it was a big accomplishment to see her graduate.  A lot of my students graduated this year, many of them I’d had multiple times over the last four years, and it was just an awesome experience.

Afterwards, Erin, Becky (a coworker) and I got something to eat before Becky and I met up with some other coworkers to do one of those Breakout rooms.

Oh. My. Gosh.

That completely destroyed the last bit of my funk that I was in from the Facebook B.S. the night before.

It. Was. So. Much. Fun.

We did the Casino room, and you had to find clues that lead to locked boxes that led to more clues that lead to casino table boxes that lead to more clues and so on and so forth.  There were ten clues in all, and we had an hour to figure it all out.Photo May 31, 6 40 46 PM

We finished with time to spare AND got the fastest time for the week, which, granted, doesn’t mean much as it is Tuesday, but we were excited to see our time replace the time on the leader board.

Afterwards, we went out and talked and then made plans to go to another breakout room on Thursday evening.

Becky brought me back to Eastside, since Erin went home after dinner (and before the breakout room).  We talked about how Erin and I met, what our relationship was like, and we talked about her current relationship.  We talked for nearly an hour before we realized that it was getting super seriously late and we needed to go home.

My funk is gone though, and it’s because actual physical and emotional connection with people, and not just through the internet, is vital to my health and well being.  I’m not sure why it took me so long to figure that out.

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Posted on June 1, 2016, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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