Two Weeks To Go…
With EOC classes and senior exams completed, there’s not much left to do except ride the wave to the end. Most of my grading at this point is complete, and I’m feeling a lot less stressed out now that my shoulder isn’t being bruised up by my insanely heavy bag.
My EOC grades are back, and these determine whether or not you have a good meeting with the principal or you have a bad one. This year, I’ll be having a good one. My passage rate was 92.5% on the state test with 60% making an A or a B, and these numbers are in non-honors classes, which is pretty freaking fantastic.
One of the assistant principals said that I wasn’t allowed to teach something other than biology and genetics because they needed me to stay on with Biology. They idea had been that they’d find a teacher and I’d teach where they needed me to, but they said, “Why would we hire someone we don’t know to teach a subject where we have a fantastic teacher already?”
It felt pretty awesome.
The wedding planning is going steady. 33 days left until the big day! We got my big brother’s train ticket this evening. He’ll be coming into town from Massachusetts on the 17th and staying until the 1st. It’ll be great to see him since I haven’t seen him in four years, and even then, I barely saw him when I was up there for that year. He’s not a biological brother, but family doesn’t always mean blood.
My celebrations were and have been… cut short… however.
My friend AE called me Thursday night saying her really good friend who was asking her to come out the lanes to talk because she needed a friend. Her girlfriend broke up with her, from what I’ve been told, for another person (HK) who is basically the single biggest player I have ever met.
AE met her there, they talked, and eventually she left rather upset. Not at AE but just in general. She ended up committing suicide that night. Her funeral is on Tuesday, so I’m taking the day off to be with AE and others. It’s in Columbia.
We had a lot of people at the house last night. We had pizza and beer and laughed at the dogs and remembered the good times and cried… and got angry… and just processed. We told everyone we loved each other and then they all went home.
I’m trying so hard to imagine what it must feel like to get to a point where you honestly feel like there’s not coming back from it… and it really sucks. There’s so many what ifs… did people know she felt like this from time to time? Was there a history of her struggling with depression? Was alcohol involved in her decision making process? There’s so many questions that aren’t getting answered… and probably will never be answered since she’s gone now…
If anything, it’s driven people closer together. It’s made people realize that time with those we care about can be a lot shorter than we expected it to be. This is the second loss in recent months that happened too soon before its time. She would have been 27 next month.
As I said, the funeral is on Tuesday. I’m getting sub plans together tomorrow for my coworkers to print for me and I’m going to start looking for a sub on Monday. I don’t know what everyone will need, but I’ll be down there. I can hopefully offer spiritual support in some way, since I know these situations can be pretty rough.
I’ve been reading things like, “Just pray that she’s in a better place.” Fuck that. She is in a better place. And she’s not hurting anymore. I don’t have to pray that she is. I know that she is. Insensitive stuff like that just. Pisses. Me. Off.
Tomorrow is church, and I’m in the classroom all day again. My morning teacher is out of town and I gave the afternoon teacher the weekend off. I’m excited about being there, but I may see if one of the office ladies can cover the second class for me so I can be with AE in the service. I know this weekend isn’t going to be easy for her.
Prayers my way for my friends would be amazing. Thank you.