Small Adjustments and Updates
It’s been an interesting couple of days in the H-H household. I’ve come to the conclusion that we’re not taking care of ourselves. I mean, we’re physically taking care of ourselves, but we’re not emotionally taking care of ourselves. We’re stressed, and I don’t think it’s in a good way.
I finally broke last night. Erin’s been trying to get me to meditate at night before bed for weeks, but I’ve been resisting… Saying that I don’t think it will help or I just don’t have it in me to do that. I broke down last night, thoroughly cleaned my altar, and meditated for ten minutes. I invited Erin to meditate with me, and she agreed. We dimmed the lights, lit our altars and tried to force our bodies into relaxing.
It didn’t help much, but I think, over time, we’ll see improvements. I couldn’t keep my mind from singing some obnoxious pop song I don’t know the name of. I kept telling myself to come back to center, only to be knocked off to the right or left again. The ten minutes flew by so quickly. We’re going to do this again tonight, and hopefully make a habit out of it.
I’m definitely out of practice.
In other Pagan related news, Erin and I are planning our annual trip to Central North Carolina’s Pagan Pride Day. It’s the same time as Columbia Gay Pride in South Carolina, so we’re having to pick between the two. It wasn’t really that hard of a pick: PPD it is. I think I’m over gay pride events. I think I’m over the partying and all that stuff. I don’t need a gay pride event to feel connected to the community. I understand and appreciate their existence, but I’m over it. Pagan Pride events usually have more to offer anyway. There’s entertainment, but also workshops and rituals, etc.
But CNCPPD hasn’t posted their workshop lists yet, so Erin and I aren’t sure if we’re going for Saturday or the whole weekend. We’re definitely getting a hotel, we just don’t know if it’s for one night or two. Last year, we went two days and it was wonderful. We got to experience everything we wanted and also just enjoy each other. I was also on speaking terms with my ex at that point, who also showed up. We went out to dinner afterwards (Erin, myself, my ex, my ex’s fiance, and a mutual friend of all of ours), and it was nice… but ended up a little… badly… Erin and I were disrespected a few times by multiple people, and we had it out with each of them not too long afterwards.
My ex, the one from the previous blog, and I haven’t really spoken to each other sense. After that e-mail, they wrote a blog putting it all on me to start this attempt at friendship over again. I wrote them an e-mail saying I wasn’t starting it, that they could if they wanted, but I wasn’t starting it… and asked about what the fiance thought about all this… Then that short blog to me disappeared and there was another one that I’m not really sure how to interpret… It talked about being okay to try again… but then used the word “you” vaguely, and I’m not sure if the you was directed at me… or at my ex themselves. It said, “Part of me says yes it’s ok to try again you have learned from your mistakes and you are not where you were at a year ago mentally and physically.”
Erin interpreted the you to be me, which then made the blog sound like I was the one who messed everything up, so I have to learn from my mistakes and my ex doesn’t have to learn from theirs at all… but I read the you to be towards my ex, which means my ex understands what they did wrong and have learned from it. Either way, I haven’t gotten an e-mail back and I’m done vague-blogging and vague-Pinteresting… If my ex wants to talk, there’s e-mail. I’m not doing anything publicly anymore.
In other news, church has been wonderful. Erin started volunteering with the AV department, and I signed up to help with Sunday School. The minister has been there for ten years next month, and the church is having a celebration. We’re going to go. There’s a drum circle. I’m really excited about the drum circle.
Posted on August 25, 2014, in Paganism, Random Rants, Relationships, Religion and tagged Lesbian Relationships, Life, pagan, paganism, Random Rants, Spirituality. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.