Happiness and Home
Or How I Made a Potentially Life Altering Decision This Week…
When I was 16 years old, I came out as gay to everyone but my parents and people who might tell my parents. When that happened, there was a lot of fall out, and some of it was with the church. I started looking for a new faith home, and I found Paganism, specifically American Neo-Wicca (ANW), but it never felt like it fit. WitchVox.Com became my go-to place for information. Back then, there was a very simple list and basic information about different faiths under the “Pagan Umbrella.”
Now, I’ve always had an affinity for Ancient Egypt. I’ve always had my ideas about faith and the higher power and how everything worked, so I felt entirely alone. ANW didn’t fit with what I already believed. Christianity didn’t either, so when I found this list and started to skim through it. I came across the word “Egyptian,” and I stopped. And when I read the blurb, it all made sense.
So of course, my next move was to Google, and that’s when I found Kemetic Orthodoxy (KO). I started to devour every bit of information I could find online, and then I found that KO offered a beginner’s class, and it was free. I clicked “Apply.”
And that’s when I stopped. Because the fine print for the House of Netjer read, “Persons under 18, or persons under OR over 18 living with their parent(s) or guardian(s), or who are financially dependent on another person, must supply written consent from that parent/guardian/provider.”
I was 16. I was in high school, dependent on my family, and consent was NOT something I was going to get. I thought about applying, and just lying about my age, but I didn’t want to come to a new faith with a lie. It was wrong, so I closed the application.
Then, I went to college, and I was still dependent on my family. I went to graduate school, and was still dependent on my parents for money. They wanted me to focus on my education and my dreams, so they supported me in all ways. When I moved back and got a job, they covered me until I got on my feet. Slowly, I started taking over my bills when I was ready, until I had them all under control.
Earlier this week, I was trying to figure out what I wanted my second H-week post to be about. I started looking for “Spiritual Words that start with H” and reading through prompts, and eventually found myself back at the HON website, where I saw that they were offering another Beginner’s Class, starting soon. I chewed on my lip about it, clicked the apply button, chewed my lip some more, read the fine print…
And then closed the window. Was it time? Should I apply? My head started swimming and the only thing I could to stop it was… close the window.
The next day, I read an article about Wiccanate Privilege, which I hadn’t actually heard of prior to that day but knew the affects of it simply by being of the faith I was. The author of the article didn’t like to use the term “Wiccanate Privilege.” The author then goes on to talk about how she does a lot of work in the interfaith community, but I felt like she missed a huge part of the overall issue, and I started thinking: I can’t go to the “New Age” or “Religion” section of my local book store and expect to pick up a book on Kemeticism. I can’t go to a pagan gathering and expect to find ANYONE else who is of my faith, except for Erin, who I brought with me. I can’t expect to participate in a local Wep Ronpet ritual, but I can expect a yearly ritual on Ostara. All of my idols were either bought online, hand made especially for our altar, or bought in a souvenir store that wasn’t the least bit pagan because the local pagan store have next to NO supply of Egyptian deities. I can’t expect to attend a class taught on Kemeticism anywhere…
At least… not in person.
And when I had that thought, I immediately stopped everything I was doing, went directly back to the House of Netjer website, clicked apply, answered all the questions honestly…
And hit submit.
I got excited. I felt good about what I did. I wasn’t worried about how I answered the questions because, as my friend Alex pointed out, this has been 12 years in the waiting.
I’ve studied on my own for 12 years. I’ve learned a lot on my own for 12 years, but now I’m at a point where I need guidance. I need someone to push me that next step, to teach me more than what I can teach to myself. I want to be the spiritual leader of my family, but I can’t do that without first following, and I’m hoping that this will help me to do that.
So send your prayers, your well wishes, your thoughts and your advice. I’m leaving it all up to the Gods now. Their path is my path. And it’s a nervous and exciting path to be on right now!
Posted on April 17, 2014, in Faith, Kemeticism, Pagan Blog Project, Paganism, PBP, Positive, Religion, Spirituality and tagged faith, Gods, H, kemetic, kemeticism, kemetism, pagan, Pagan Blog Project, paganism, PBP. Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.